In this blog post I will be sharing about a season of worrying that I have been through.
When I had just turned 16 I started studying Animal Care at college with my sister. I studied there for 2 years, but it was not exactly the career that I wanted to pursue further. In the beginning of 2020 I applied to another course and this was just before covid and the lockdowns. I was not exactly sure of this course, but at that moment there were not any other courses that I was interested in. The other plan I had was to keep on studying Animal Care for another year or so because then I could still keep on studying Maths and English, which is why I really needed to continue with my studies. Later I found out that it was not going to work for me to keep on studying at Animal Care. At first I wasn’t exactly sure what to do because it was one of the two choices that I was thinking of doing in September. But as I look back I am very thankful for what felt like God’s redirection. In the long run it wouldn’t have been helpful for me to continue on that course.
I decided to go forward with my first choice and the course that I had already applied for, but I wasn’t exactly sure if I really wanted to do the course. I got a conditional offer on this course sometime during the summer. When it was time for the results day during August I found out that this course wasn’t going to work out for me anyway because my grades were too low for the course. It felt like I had no other options to choose from during that Autumn, so I decided to take a gap year. I had not planned to take a year off from my studies and at first it was quite hard for me. My gap year was good for me though. I started blogging which I don’t think that I would have done if I had continued at college that year. I grew quite a lot as a person and God also taught me a lot during this time.
It was also a season of worrying about my future and what I wanted to do in life. During my gap year I started researching about my next steps. I felt like I either wanted to do an apprenticeship or somehow find a way to continue with my Maths and English. Some days I researched a lot, but most of the time this would get me nowhere and it almost felt like every door closed instead. This would only cause me anxiety. I prayed about it a lot, but I found it very hard to trust God through this and it was hard at times to completely surrender the worry to God. Some days I dealt with the worry and anxiety by not trying to think about my next steps and I tried to distract myself with by doing something else. I found it very hard to see a way forward from this season.
During the summer in 2021 I found a part time Maths and English course through the college website and I decided to apply to that course. I really wanted to do an apprenticeship but I wasn’t sure if I was going to find one or get accepted on to one. Applying to this course felt like a step forward in the right direction for me. I started college again that September, but the worrying and the anxiety didn’t stop because I began to study at college. My initial plan was to only study Maths and English for about a year and then I was hoping to find something else. I had a few thoughts about what I maybe wanted to do, but I really wasn’t sure so this still caused some anxiety for me during my first year back at college after my gap year. I continued to do some research about this, but it wasn’t until about April of 2022 when I finally felt that I had found something that I sort of felt peace about.
At the end of August I started studying an online course and a few weeks after I continued to study one one of the classes from the previous academic year at college. I found something that worked very well for me, and I became less anxious.
This has been a vey hard season to go through. But I have also learned a lot during this season, and I think that some of the lessons and struggles from these years will be helpful for future seasons that I might go through. God has taught me a lot during these past three years. I still have moments of worrying, but this is less frequently now. I don’t have a 5 year plan and I definitely do not have everything figured out at the moment. But I am learning to trust that God has a plan for the future. God has a plan for every season in life that we may go through. He always has us go through specific seasons in order for us to grow or learn something through them.
So proud of you Aymie. So true, the Lord takes us through hills and valleys. Trusting him is a big step forward. Been there multiple times. Still are days.